More Dick and Jane Stories
by ohhowmarvelous
Summary: The sequel to Fun With Dick and Jane. What will happen when Riff-Raff, Magenta, Charlotte, and Dick reach Transsexual? And how will Frank and Columbia adjust to the conformity of everyday life? And what about Jane?
1. A New Beginning

Well, this is the sequel to Fun With Dick and Jane. Apporopriately named More Dick and Jane Stories. I like sticking with that theme.

Anyway, these next three chapters may be it for a while, only because I've got a serious case of writer's block. I hope you guys enjoy!

Disclaimer: Richard O'Brien owns everything here except the stuff I added.

**Chapter One: A New Beginning**

Jane sat on the single, cold cement step of the raised ranch, her new shoes a pristine white compared to the dark driveway underneath her. Across the street she could tell a child's birthday party was going on. Bright balloons were tied to a mailbox, and children's laughter seemed to be in sync with the perennial generic party music. She sighed and looked back down at her book. School would be starting again soon, and after the craziest summer of her life, Jane was actually looking forward to it.

It seemed just a tiny bit wrong that things could be so normal, although she could admit that they had wanted it to be. All three of them, Jane, Frank, and Columbia, had moved to a house in suburban fantasyland, which was, unsurprisingly, located scenically inside Denton. The hardest part of it all was that they changed their names. They were posing as a family: a mother, a father, and their doting daughter. Frank N. Furter was now Frank Peterson, and had finally, with much disdain, removed his makeup and garter belt. Columbia was now Carla Peterson and growing her short hair into a chin-length bob. Jane was Janet Peterson, out of respect for her mother. She had dyed her hair from the purple Magenta had given her to a sunny strawberry blonde.

Dissolved in her book, Jane was startled to see a pair of flip-flops containing excessively hairy feet appear before her. Looking up, Jane saw that it was a man who could be in his early fifties jubilantly clutching a chocolate cake on a paper plate with doilies underneath. On it, "Welcome New Neighbors" was clumsily spelled out with pink frosting. A woman with too much botox and platinum blonde hair that was holding a cigarette stepped out from behind him.

Jane tried to smile. "Hello."

The man beamed amiably. "Hey yourself. Welcome to the neighborhood, kiddo." With that, he thrust the cake into Jane's arms.

The woman twisted the cigarette in between her fingers and grinned as much as she could with her frozen face. "What's your name, honey?"

"I'm Jane…et," said Jane, almost forgetting her false name. "Janet Peterson."

The man laughed. "So you're Janette. Do you have an older sister named Jane? Ha, Jane and Janette…they're just like Tupperware!" His wife smiled appropriately.

Jane smiled painfully. This was going to be an uphill battle.

The woman twirled her cigarette again. "We're the Thatchers. I'm Loretta and this big hunk of testosterone is my husband, Jim."

Jim grinned at his wife. "Our son Jimmy's out at another one of his science camp whatnots. He looks about your age…"

Sighing, Jane said, "I'll be glad to meet him later."

Taking a long drag on her cigarette, Loretta asked, "Are your parents inside? We'd love to meet them."

Jane shuddered. "I'll bring them out," she said. Hopefully Columbia and Frank…or Carla and Frank…were ready for this.


	2. Petersons and Thatchers

I seriously hope you're enjoying the story. And remember, review, because I live on them.

Disclaimer: Richard O'Brien owns most stuff on this little corner of fan fiction dot net, including what I'm basing my fic off of.

**Chapter Two: Petersons and Thatchers**

Jane carried the cake into the kitchen, placing it on the new table where both Frank and Columbia were seated. Frank looked up from his job search in the newspaper and Columbia from her magazine. They stared at the welcoming cake, not sure exactly what it meant.

"You baked a cake?" asked Frank.

Jane sighed. "The people across the street brought it over and now they want to meet you guys…they're outside."

Columbia turned and smiled at Frank. "This is what people do when new people move into their neighborhood, Frankie."

Frank rolled his eyes. "Stop flaunting that you were born here."

"They're right here!" called out Jane, opening the door to go outside. She motioned for Frank and Columbia to follow her. The two glanced at each other nervously and followed their mock daughter outside.

Jim Thatcher grinned toothily as his wife took another drag on her cigarette. Frank grimaced.

"Well, well, well!" shouted Jim. "No wonder you two have such a beautiful daughter!"

Jane blushed. "…Dad and…Mom…this is Jim and Loretta Thatcher."

Columbia, her memories of good old Denton hospitality surfacing yet again, thrust out her hand to the couple. "It's so nice to meet you two. I'm Carla, and this is my husband, Frank…" she said, glancing at Frank, clearly enjoying it. Frank glared at her.

Jim frowned. "He looks kind of sick if you ask me."

Frank had a look of pure disgust for the two newcomers in front of him.

"He IS sick," said Jane quickly. "He's got a summer flu."

Loretta shook her head. "Well, then, we should have brought over some chicken soup instead!"

Columbia motioned towards the door. "Would you like to come inside?"

Jim shook his head. "Sorry, but we can't. Little Ellen's got a birthday party going on back at our place. The Macarena can get pretty dangerous without adult supervision."

"You're welcome to join us," added Loretta.

Though Columbia looked hopeful, Jane shook her head. "Thanks but no thanks. We've still got a lot of unpacking to do."

Jim shrugged. "Suit yourself, I guess. See you around."

Frank turned around to go back inside, muttering "I think I need to lie down."


	3. Over at the Frankenstein Place

This chapter reintroduces Magenta, Riff-Raff, Charlotte and Dick to the story...enjoy!

Disclaimer: Richard O'Brien is all I have to say.

**Chapter Three: Over At The Frankenstein Place**

"Uno!" Charlotte shouted, thrusting the brightly colored card onto the middle of the deck.

Dick frowned. "That's about the 80th time you've won, Charlotte."

Charlotte grinned. "Well if you weren't so bad at it…"

The past four weeks had been going like this on the trip back to Transsexual, Transylvania. None of the four had expected the trip to last longer than a few days, but because the castle hadn't been used for this purpose in so long, it was mind-numbingly slow.

The four of them were in the castle's control room, Dick and Charlotte seated at a table playing card games and the two siblings at the wheel trying to navigate open space.

"Can you two please keep it down?" asked an exasperated Magenta. "Your father is very frustrated," she said, turning to Charlotte.

Riff-Raff _was_ very frustrated, mumbling curses under his breath as he tried to locate their position on the map.

Charlotte sighed. "Mother, you're treating us like children."

Magenta smirked. "You're fifteen, Charlotte. I don't think that makes you an adult."

"But Dick's nearly twenty!" whined Charlotte. "And he's not even your son!"

"Just keep it down until I find out exactly where we are," grumbled Riff-Raff.

Grinning, Dick hopped out of his stool and offered his hand for Charlotte to get down. "All right…we'll just go somewhere else, then."

Charlotte smiled at Dick as he held her hand. "I'm sure we'll find LOTS of things to do." They laughed and left the room.

Riff-Raff looked up from the map, a look of shocked realization on his face. "It seems Furter's son has taken a…certain liking to Charlotte."

"What do you mean 'a certain liking'?" asked Magenta, not taking her eyes off of the open air in front of them.

Riff-Raff turned to look at Magenta. "You know what I mean."

Magenta looked confused, and then laughed. "You can't mean THAT, Riff."

"They said they had 'lots of things to do'," said Riff-Raff.

Magenta smirked in amusement. "That could mean anything."

Riff-Raff sighed. Magenta put her hand on top of his.

"She won't be a child forever, Riff-Raff," said Magenta.

"He's Furter's son!" shouted Riff-Raff.

Magenta sighed. "Darling, it's not as if she will be marrying him."

Riff-Raff sighed and looked back down at his map. "She had better not."


	4. Changes

My writer's block is gone! Which is amazing... so yay! Expect way more updates...!

Disclaimer: Richard O'Brien owns us all.

**Chapter Four: Changes**

"I can't believe you!" shouted Columbia, her hand over her face. "You couldn't even _pretend_ to be nice to them!"

Frank sighed melodramatically. "I just couldn't bear the thought of living near THOSE people."

"You didn't have to make it obvious!" exclaimed Columbia, and she angrily left the room.

Jane rolled her eyes as she shoved the cake into the refrigerator. Frank and Columbia had been fighting nonstop since they had been ushered out of the Frankenstein Place a month before.

"So," asked Frank, "what's YOUR take on this?"

Jane shook her head. "I'm not even getting involved this time. I shouldn't have to choose sides." With that, Jane grabbed her book and stomped out through the screen door to the front stoop.

Frank sighed. He was alone, yet again, after another fight with Columbia. They always seemed to be over the same thing…reluctance to change.

He ran his hands through his hair, sighing. _"How did we get here?" _he asked himself.

Frank walked towards the bathroom mirror and gazed into it with wonder. He was unrecognizable even to himself with his ordinary clothes and finally tanning makeupless complexion. He would give anything for a chance to wear his fishnets again, but that, of course, was not customary here.

"The fallen prince," he muttered to himself.

"Not fallen," said Columbia, walking into the bathroom behind him. "Just displaced."

Frank grimaced. "Permanently, it seems."

Columbia put her arms around Frank, resting her chin on his shoulder. She laughed under her breath.

"What?" asked Frank, smirking.

"Look at us," said Columbia, gazing into the mirror.

"The youth serum is wearing off," said Frank.

Columbia grinned. "I think the aging is making you look more…"

"More what?" asked Frank, playfully gazing at Columbia.

"Distinguished," she said.

Frank grinned. "You look like you've put on a few years in the past month yourself."

Columbia sighed. "That stuff really worked."

Frank chuckled. "Now we really do look like we could be someone's parents."

"Mmm…" mumbled Columbia, feeling his face with her hands.

"What are you doing?" asked Frank.

"You haven't shaved," Columbia said softly.

"Why should I?" asked Frank in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Don't," said Columbia. "I've never seen you with a beard."

"Maybe I'll grow one," said Frank. "After all, I don't wear all that…"

Columbia quieted him with a kiss.

"You're more of a man than you think, Frankie," she said, grinning as she waltzed out of the room.

A few moments later, Frank put his hand to his face, feeling the stubble. His emotions were beginning to betray him.

**REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW!!**


	5. Things to Do

**Chapter Five: Things To Do**

"Well, what do you want to do now?" asked Charlotte. She and Dick had just arrived at her room, and she had immediately thrown herself onto her bed.

Dick shrugged, then turned his attention to a box of records.

"You still use these?" he asked in surprise.

Charlotte nodded. "They sound better than CDs."

"Wow…" muttered Dick, flipping through the vinyl, finally choosing a David Bowie record and placing it on the turntable. He then sat next to Charlotte on the bed, feeling too much the short distance between them.

"Since we're here…" he said, "Can I ask you a few questions?"

"Well, that's a shocker," said Charlotte, grinning sarcastically. "This is about the 500th time you've said that in this whole month. Ask away."

"How come you never talked to anyone when we were in school?" asked Dick.

Charlotte blushed. "I never really liked anyone that much, I guess."

"Why, Charlotte?" asked Dick, intrigued.

Charlotte glanced at Dick, silently delighting in hearing her name said in his voice. "Well…I never wanted to get close to anyone so they could see where I… well, you know."

Dick nodded. "That's understandable."

Charlotte laughed. "They'd have been scared away by your father."

"My father…" Dick murmured. Charlotte stared at him.

"That must have been odd…" said Charlotte.

Dick nodded. "I spent my whole life trying to be Brad Majors, and I was never even his son."

"You tried not to be Frank, but everything, all that you've gone through, makes sense now that you're his son, doesn't it?" said Charlotte.

Dick sighed. "I don't really want to talk about it."

Charlotte inched closer to him, smiling. "Do you want to ask me more questions instead?"

Dick laughed. "You're such an attention whore."

Charlotte shrugged. "Always have been, always will be."

"Well, then…" said Dick. "How come you've never let anyone know how interesting you are?"

Charlotte snorted. "A lot of things about me are 'interesting'. Be more specific."

"Not about your parents," said Dick. "You're just…really…"

"What?" asked Charlotte, grinning shyly.

"…Not what I expected," said Dick, laughing with Charlotte.

"I still don't really…" murmured Charlotte.

"Unique. Special…" said Dick. "You've got something, you know?"

Charlotte blushed and looked at her feet.

"…What?" asked Dick, afraid he'd said something wrong.

Charlotte slowly looked up at Dick. "No one's ever said that to me before."

Dick smiled softly. "Then let me be the first of many."

Charlotte blushed as she and Dick gazed at each other in a way she had never experienced before.

As Dick began to lean in to Charlotte, she leaped off the bed.

"I…" she said, "I should really go help my parents."

Charlotte ran out of the room, tears in her eyes, knowing she was betraying her parents every time she looked at Furter's son.


	6. Jimmy Thatcher

One of my personal favorite characters enters the story with this chapter...the adorable nerd Jimmy Thatcher...yay!

Richard O'Brien...owning things...rocky...bladdity bladdity blah.

**Chapter Six: Jimmy Thatcher**

As Jane sat on the front stoop, watching the sun set over the neighborhood, she thought about her long-lost love of reading. She remembered that, as a child, reading was all she ever did, being as shy as she was. She remembered how, on summer days, she would read one book and have twenty spread out around her.

"Just in case I finish the others," she would tell her mother.

Janet had expressed her concern, and in the summer, repeatedly tried to get Jane to at least leave her room and come outside. Whenever she did, however, Jane sat under the oak tree in their small yard, reading everything from _Nancy Drew_ to _Gulliver's Travels_.

Jane knew that she was using reading now to escape her current life situation. Things had been moving much too fast, and they weren't good things. It was much easier to focus on the trials of _Jane Eyre_, as she was doing now, than the complications of Jane Majors….or Furter…or make that Janet Peterson. She was not even sure who she was anymore.

Suddenly, a boy on a faded red and slightly rusty bicycle came speeding down the street, his astounded gaze never leaving Jane. He crashed into a telephone pole. Jane ran over to help him.

"Are you all right?" asked Jane.

The boy looked up, a dazed sort of smile on his face. "Yeah…yeah, I am, I just…" he tried to stand up and groaned.

"You should wait a while before you do that," said Jane, easing him back down to the ground.

The boy nodded. He had thick-rimmed glasses that reminded Jane of her father, Brad.

"I'm Janet," said Jane, thankful that she had remembered her false name.

The boy grinned and held out his hand. "I'm James Thatcher the Third."

"There's three of you?" Jane laughed.

The boy looked uncomfortable. "Well no, you see…"

"No, I was joking," said Jane. "I thought you were called Jimmy, James Thatcher the Third."

Jimmy winced. "Only my parents call me that. I hate being called Jimmy."

Jane grinned. "Well, in that case, I'll call you Jimmy."

Jimmy laughed. "Thanks, Janet Peterson."

"So…" said Jane. "You go to science camp?"

Jimmy grinned. "Yeah, Fountain Ridge Day Camp for the Young and Brilliantly Gifted."

Jane laughed. "So does that mean you're 'brilliantly gifted'?"

Jimmy shrugged. "I guess so. You live right across the street, right?"

Jane nodded. "Yeah, why?"

Jimmy smiled. "I'll definitely see you around, then."

Jane grinned. "Are you sure you don't need any…"

"No, no…" said Jimmy. "I can make it back across the street just fine, thanks."

"All right, bye then," said Jane.

Jimmy saluted her and dragged his bike back to his house. Jane laughed, slowly walking back to where she had to face reality once more.


	7. An Arrival

Disclaimer: Richard O'Brien.

**Chapter Seven: An Arrival**

It had been another long and dreary day of travel at the Frankenstein Place. For days, there had been nothing in sight but far-off stars and the occasional space rock. Riff-Raff had continued to watch Dick and Charlotte's interactions with a careful eye, fearing the worst. Charlotte, on the other hand, had been trying to mask her affections for Dick, knowing it would disappoint her parents more than anything else possible.

It was now around 4:30 AM, and Magenta was asleep in the passenger seat. Riff-Raff was awake, however, by mere chance, when he saw it.

Out of nowhere, a misty, dark planet appeared. It had no sun, but a moon, and it was exactly what the four passengers were looking for.

Riff-Raff gasped. "Magenta, my most beautiful sister, we have made it!"

Magenta lurched awake. "What?" she mumbled, sleep still attempting to claim her.

Riff-Raff pointed out the front window. "There."

Magenta gasped. "Sweet Transsexual! We are home at last!"

"At long last," said Riff-Raff. "And finally free."

The two siblings embraced and kissed, tears now flowing freely from both their eyes.

"I will go wake Charlotte and the new Furter," said Magenta.

Riff-Raff grinned as he watched his sister leave the room. This had been a long time coming.

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Charlotte lie awake in her bed, still, at 4:30 AM. She had not been able to take the subject of Dick Majors off her mind. After years of gazing at couples from afar, longing for what they had, she now knew that she had found the man for her. And he was a Furter.

Charlotte's pillow was drenched with tears cried over many hours of insomnia. She knew she could never be with Dick. Her parents would never allow it. As forbidden as he was, however, Charlotte just could not stay away from the heir to the Transsexual throne. She often found herself distracted by fantasies of their future together; fantasies she had been trying to forget for his and her own sake. She reminded herself of the reasons why they could not and should not be in love, but these never seemed to overcome her feelings for Dick.

"Charlotte?" whispered a voice from her bedroom door. "Are you awake, darling?"

"Yes, mother," said Charlotte, trying to mask the hours of despair from her voice.

"Oh, Charlotte, it's wonderful!" said Magenta, running over to her daughter and embracing her tightly. "We are finally home!"

"Home?" asked Charlotte.

Magenta nodded. "Home. Transsexual."

"Oh," said Charlotte.

Magenta gave her daughter an odd look. "Are you feeling well?"

After contemplating revealing to her mother what was on her mind, Charlotte finally settled on "I feel fine. I'm just tired, that's all."

Magenta touched Charlotte's cheek. "You've been crying."

"I've just been thinking…it will be wonderful when we finally have a normal life," said Charlotte, attempting to mask her grief.

Magenta smiled. "It's what we've always wanted, isn't it?"

"Among other things," mumbled Charlotte.

"What was that?" asked Magenta.

"...Nothing," said Charlotte.

Magenta embraced Charlotte again. "Our servitude is finally over." She then got off the bed and walked back towards the door.

"Wake Dick and join your father and I in the control room," said Magenta, and she left.

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Dick sat on the windowsill of his room, staring out at the open space in front of him. He knew that his life was about to change drastically. How, and for the better or worse, he did not know.

His thoughts kept drifting back to Charlotte. Despite their difference in age, Dick knew that she was wise beyond her years, an old soul. He had never taken notice of her before the night of the convention. Now, her beauty dazzled him. He wished he had never noticed her.

Their parents would never approve. The kingdom would never approve. Servants and royalty were not meant to mix, and as new as Dick was to being prince, he knew that this unspoken rule was obvious. Their families hated each other.

However, as many reasons as Dick had to stay away, he always found himself longing for her presence. He knew that, somehow, they would find a way to be together.

As if on cue, Charlotte drifted into the room. Dick smiled at her.

"I was just thinking about you," he said.

Charlotte tried to mask an excitedly pleased grin. "We've made it to Transsexual," she said. "My parents want us to meet them in the control room."

Dick swallowed a lump in his throat. "It's time, then."

Charlotte nodded. "Are you nervous?"

Dick shrugged. "I don't know what to expect. Of course I'm nervous."

"Well, don't be," said Charlotte. "You're going to be royalty, how bad can it get?"


	8. Denton High School

Disclaimer: Richard O'Brien owns your face.

**Chapter Eight: Denton High School**

"Class, today we will learn how separate the properties of salt. Salt, as you know, is chemically named sodium chloride, so this makes it evident that…"

It was now the second week of school, and it had not taken Jane this long to realize that chemistry was one of the more boring classes on her agenda. Frank, being a scientist, had tried to convince Jane that she would have a natural passion for the sciences because of her parentage, but she had decided that this information was completely false by the second day of school. She was terrible at it.

Jane had to be especially cautious this year. Though she had a different name and look, she was always afraid of being recognized by someone. She even had to abandon her old friends and take classes of different levels. She had taken the highest level of science possible this year even though she knew that she had always been terrible at it. Being the "brilliantly gifted" Jimmy Thatcher's lab partner helped her immensely. Jane remained in honors English, however, because she knew anything under that level would be much too easy. She had to be especially careful in that class of being recognized.

Today, Jimmy Thatcher had not come to class. Jane anxiously watched the clock; the class was more than halfway over. Jimmy had become her lone companion this year, and classes were boring without him. Plus, she was completely lost as to what the teacher was going on about.

The door flew open. "Sorry I'm late…" mumbled Jimmy, as he handed a half-crumpled pass to the teacher, Mr. Delordy.

"I had begun to think you were skipping my class, Mr. Thatcher," said Mr. Delordy with a sneer on his face. "You know what I do to those who skip. Please take your seat, and pray that this does not happen again."

"Yes, Mr. Delordy," said Jimmy, and blushing violently, he took his seat next to Jane, who pulled out a post-it note pad. She began to write violently.

The note said: "He's got to be the strictest teacher we've ever had…someone's got to pull that stick out of his British ass one of these days!"

Jimmy grinned as he read the note and wrote back: "Then we should stop writing notes for our sakes, and for our grades' sakes."

As Jane read the note, she sighed and mouthed "Mr. Studious" to Jimmy, who shrugged.

"Do you have something you'd wish to share with the class, Miss Peterson?" asked Mr. Delordy.

Jane shuddered. "Um…uh, no, Mr. Delordy."

Mr. Delordy rolled his eyes and pulled out two detention slips. "Then I will see you and Mr. Thatcher after school today. Be here at exactly 2:00 or I will have you stay until dark."

Jane's eyes went wide. "But….Mr. Delordy, sir, I…"

"There are no excuses, Miss Peterson," said Mr. Delordy. "Be here or I will fail both of you for the term."

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Columbia sighed and threw herself on the couch. "There's nothing to do here!"

Frank smirked at her from an armchair across the room. "What exactly did you do when we were at the castle?"

"I don't remember," said Columbia, looking confused.

"You could get a job," he said.

Columbia smirked. "How about YOU get a job?"

Frank chuckled. "Me?"

"Yes, you!" shouted Columbia. "All you ever do is laze around this house reading that stupid newspaper!"

"All _you_ ever do is complain," said Frank, scowling.

"Listen," said Columbia, sitting herself on Frank's lap. "Pretty soon we're gonna run out of money, and with no money, what are we gonna do then?"

Frank sighed. "Well, I suppose you're right."

"That priest job isn't gonna bring in much more than it already has, you know," said Columbia, hopping off of Frank and picking up throw pillows from the floor.

"I'll find something, I suppose," said Frank.

"Good," said Columbia, thrusting the job circular in Frank's face. "I'm gonna go see about cleaning up this house. Now I know how Mags and Riff felt."

Frank frowned as he thought about his servants that had rebelled. How had he let them take advantage of his weakness, and where were they now? How was his son coping with ruling a planet? As much as Frank wished to guide him somehow with this new task, he knew that was impossible. As much as it pained him, he would just have to hope for the best.

At first glance at the job circular, Frank found a listing he was interested in: "Male Dancers Needed at _Absolute Pleasure_ club; Inquire within downtown Denton location..."

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As Columbia began to sponge the countertops, the phone rang. She sighed, mumbling about telemarketers, and picked up the phone.

"Hello, we don't want to buy any of your…"

"Columbia!" said Jane over the phone. "I mean, erm, mom!"

"I thought you said you weren't allowed to make phone calls during school," said Columbia.

Jane sighed. "This is different. Jimmy Thatcher and I got detention and now we have to stay after school."

Columbia smirked. "You and Jimmy Thatcher? What were you two doing?"

"Nothing!" said Jane. "Mr. Delordy's just…ugh, can you or…dad… pick us up afterwards?"

"Sure, I guess," said Columbia. "I'll get him now."

Columbia handed the phone to Frank.

"What?" asked Frank, clearly confused.

"It's a phone," said Columbia. "You talk into it. Jane's on the line."

Frank looked at the phone strangely and placed it on his ear. "Hello?"

"Uh, hi…dad," said Jane. "Jimmy Thatcher and I got detention from Mr. Delordy and…"

"_Mister_ Delordy?" asked Frank. "So _that's_ what he goes by now…"

"What?" asked Jane.

Frank sighed. "I suppose I'll have to explain later."

"Well, anyway," said Jane, "Jimmy Thatcher and I need a ride home. He lives across the street, so it shouldn't be too much trouble. We'll call you back when the detention's over."

Frank hung up with a strange look on his face.

"What's wrong?" asked Columbia.

"Something from my past," said Frank. "A reunion of sorts is about to happen."


	9. Moon Drenched Shores

In my opinion, the story doesn't start getting good until this chapter, because this is where my writer's block wore off. So...yeah. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Richard O'Brien owns everything RHPS and in this fanfiction exept my storylines and OCs.

**Chapter Nine: Moon-Drenched Shores**

It felt to Charlotte as if they had been walking for hours. She, her parents, and Dick had been trudging along a backroads path that her parents apparantly knew, carrying as much of their possessions as they could. Though she was exhausted, Charlotte could not believe how beautiful her homeland was. The moon here was bigger and brighter than that on earth.

"Where exactly are we going?" asked Dick.

"My sentiments exactly," muttered Charlotte, tripping over a tree root.

Dick offered his hand to Charlotte to help her to her feet. "Are you all right?"

Charlotte blushed and smiled. "Yes. Just tired, that's all."

"It doesn't matter where we are going right now," said Magenta. "We'll explain when we get there."

A mansion seemed to appear out of nowhere. As they walked towards it, Charlotte caught a glimpse of the fabled "moon-drenched shores" of Transylvania, which were just as beautiful as her parents had always described. She soon realized that the mansion was where they were going, which made her feel relieved, knowing they would most likely be staying there overnight.

Soon they approached the building's doorway. "Who's house is this?" asked Charlotte.

"Our brother's..." muttered Riff-Raff.

Charlotte thought for a moment, realizing that she had never imagined that she had other relatives than her parents on Transsexual, though it was obvious now that there were.

The door opened, revealing a stout older woman. "What?" she snarled, standing in her nightgown and slippers.

"Hello," said Riff-Raff. "We are relations of master Ivory."

The woman snorted. "So? That gives you no right to wake me at five AM when I'm usually..."

"Nancy, my dear," said a voice from within the house, "that will be all."

The woman, apparantly named Nancy, sighed in relief and trudged back to bed.

The owner of the voice was a tall, well-built man of about 40. His thick, blond hair was accompanied by a thin mustache that looked to Charlotte as if a worm that had taken private residence his face. He was wearing silk, black nightclothes and was clutching a mug of tea.

The man's face contorted into a wide, delighted grin as he caught sight of Riff-Raff and Magenta. "Can it be?"

Magenta smiled. "Who else would it be?" Ivory pulled her into a tight hug and she laughed.

Riff-Raff smiled timidly. "Hello, Ivory."

Ivory turned to Riff-Raff and grinned. "Hey, Riffy. I see you finally lost what little hair you had."

Riff-Raff blushed and tried to smile. Charlotte laughed, causing Ivory's attention to turn to her.

"Who is this?" he asked, visibly trying to figure out where he had seen Charlotte's face before.

"You will know in time," said Magenta. "May we come in?"

As they entered the house, Charlotte was amazed by its beauty. There were two spiraled staircases leading to the second floor. They were now standing in a large ballroom, furnished with large sculptures of humans in their bare element that were much classier than Frank's, in her opinion. The floor was covered in white tiles, the walls a sophisticated burgundy. Diamond chandeliers decorated the ceiling, their crystals sparkling in their candlelight. It reminded Charlotte of the Victorian houses that she had seen in the oldest part of Denton.

"I have never seen a room this beautiful in my whole life!" gushed Charlotte, spinning around the room, trying not to miss anything.

Ivory smiled. "Why thank you, young miss. A house this beautiful can only come from decades of hard work and sacrifice which, I can ensure you, I have endured."

"Whatever did you do to afford a home such as this, brother?" asked Magenta.

"Why, my dear sister, the tourism business has thrived in the years of yours and Riff-Raff's absence," said Ivory, gleaming with pride. "I own over fifteen resorts, all located on the pristine, moon-glinted shores of our beloved Transsexual. By the way," he said, "where is Furter? I presumed when you told me you'd be arriving that you would be bringing the prince along with you."

"May we have tea?" asked Magenta, changing the subject. "That is, if it isn't of any inconvenience."

"Certainly," said Ivory. "Let us go to the sitting room."

As Riff-Raff and Magenta followed Ivory into his sitting room, Charlotte and Dick stayed behind.

"Don't you think it's wonderful that my uncle has a house like this?" asked Charlotte.

"I wouldn't have expected it," said Dick.

"Well, neither did I," said Charlotte. "But, then again, I never expected to have relatives here, either."

Just then, a disgruntled-looking Nancy was seen bringing a tray of tea into the sitting room, grumbling to herself. Dick and Charlotte laughed.

"At least that's not me anymore," said Charlotte.

"I'm sure that soon I'm going to get a Nancy," said Dick.

Charlotte snorted. "I'm sure you'll get THOUSANDS of Nancys. After all, with you being the new..."

Suddenly, Ivory was heard screaming from the sitting room. "WHAT?!"

"What was that?" asked Charlotte, now nervous.

Dick smirked. "I think that good old Ivory just found out who you are, Charlotte."

Charlotte sighed and leaned against the wall, sliding to the floor. "The shit has now hit the fan."

After a moment of awkward silence, Charlotte and Dick began to laugh, neither of them fully understanding why.

"Well..." said Charlotte, "I guess I should go make my grand entrance now."

"Hey," said Dick as he put his hand on her shoulder, "be careful in there."

Charlotte smiled. "I've survived confrontations with Frank. I think I can do this." With that, she turned to enter the sitting room, but ended up standing in the door frame, listening to her family's conversation.

"How is she at all average?" Charlotte heard Ivory ask. "That's impossible, what you're telling me, an elixir cannot prevent something like inbred defects."

"I am telling you, Ivory," said Riff-Raff, firmly, "that Charlotte is a perfectly normal, perfectly healthy, and practically perfect fifteen-year-old child."

"We would know," said Magenta. "We've been physicians."

Ivory sighed. "Well, I suppose that..."

Charlotte entered the room, unsure of herself as Ivory, before her eyes, began to see her in a new light. He took absolute notice of her, scrutinizing over every part of her body. He even stood up and paced around her, causing Charlotte to feel even more uncomfortable.

Finally, Ivory stopped his pacing and stood directly in front of Charlotte. His face widened into a broad smile. "My dear..." he said, pulling her into an embrace, "welcome home."

"Thank you..." said Charlotte, trying to smile at the uncle that she hardly knew.

Ivory grinned, stroking his thin mustache. "She looks like the both of you," he said. "Especially you, Magenta. She inherited that bloody hair."

Magenta laughed. "I suppose someone had to."

Ivory laughed, "Yes, yes," and began examining Charlotte again. "You know this would have killed mother."

Riff-Raff frowned. "If she had not been long deceased before we arrived."

Ivory nodded. "She did suffer that terrible stroke when you two were found out. I remember that it was then that you left for Earth on the next shuttle."

"Even if it meant being servants for nearly twenty years," muttered Magenta.

"It's very nice to meet you, Uncle Ivory," said Charlotte, cringing as the words felt strange in her throat.

"Please," he said, "Call me Ivory."

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	10. Detention

**Chapter Ten: Detention**

"Aw, damn," said Jane, as she and Jimmy made the turn in the hallway towards Mr. Delordy's classroom. It was 1:57.

"We're not gonna be late!" said Jimmy. "Everything's going to be all right, Janet."

"I hope so," said Jane, surprised at how much Jimmy had sounded like her father a second before.

Just then, the door to Mr. Delordy's classroom flung open.

"Well..." he said, "what do we have here?"

"Hi, Mr. Delordy," said Jane, giving him the sweetest, most doubly sarcastic smile that she could muster. Jimmy tried not to laugh as he followed her into the classroom.

"So, what do you want us to..." started Jimmy. He was cut off by a click of a lock. Delordy had locked the door to the classroom.

"Mr. Thatcher..." started Delordy, "you are merely here for a detention. Janet, however..." said Delordy, "we need to talk."

Jane's heart fell into her stomach. Hopefully this had nothing to do with Transsexual...but something inside told her that it did.

Jane approached Delordy at his desk, looking at her feet. Delordy smiled. "I knew you were a Furter the moment I laid eyes on you."

Jane sighed. Not again...why couldn't these people just leave her alone? "Frank N. Furter is my father, Mr. Delordy. I'm sure you..."

"Know him?" answered Delordy, chuckling to himself. "He is my cousin. This is serious business we are dealing with, my dear."

Jane sat down in the chair just opposite the desk. "What sort of business?"

"I haven't laid eyes on the elusive Doctor Frank N. Furter for over twenty years," said Delordy.

Jimmy raised his hand, his arm shaking. Delordy sighed in a Frank-like fashion. "What is it, Mr. Thatcher?"

Jimmy stood up, mildly stuttering. "What...what the hell are you two going on about?"

Jane stood up. "I'll explain later, Jimmy, I..."

"No!" shouted Delordy. "You can't let him know about..."

"I can do as I wish, Delordy!" shouted Jane, surprising even herself.

Delordy only smirked. "Just like her father," he said under his breath.

"I-I'll be outside until your dad comes, Janet..." mumbled Jimmy, grabbing his schoolbag and leaving the classroom as fast as he possibly could.

Delordy grinned. "Frank is coming, is he?"

Jane sighed. "Look...yes, he is, and I'm sure he'll be able to explain our situation better than I ever could...just, uh..."

"Just what?" asked Delordy.

"Just, please..." said Jane, blushing, "don't try to have sex with me."

Delordy laughed darkly. "What, has he already..."

"No, no, I stopped him," said Jane. "He's my dad...that would just be too weird."

Delordy smiled. "It only takes a Furter to resist a Furter."

"So, anyway..." said Jane, "why haven't you seen Frank in twenty years?"

"He'd been acting as a recluse here in Denton," said Delordy. "I attempted to locate him by posing as a science teacher here at the high school..." he smiled. "I believe now that it has worked."

"Only posing?' asked Jane, smirking.

Delordy sighed. "Most Furters have talents in the sciences. You, on the other hand..."

"I know. I don't," said Jane, scowling.

"You see..." said Delordy, "you are the last living heir of Transsexual."

"So is my brother," said Jane. Delordy had a look of confusion on his face. "My brother is Frank's son, too."

"Was this...accidental?" asked Delordy. "I know nothing of his going-ons..."

"Of course it was," said Jane. "My mother...I mean, mine and Dick's mother...she was from here, not Transsexual."

Delordy laughed. "Is that your brother's name? Dick? How fitting."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Yes, but that's not important. Why can't you take power? Why do we have to?"

Delordy rolled his eyes. "Apparantly the old queen wrote in her will that is would be 'a travesty' if I ever took throne. Frank and his children were the only ones that could, by birthright, of course."

Jane sighed and plopped back down in the chair. "Why does this have to be so fucking complicated?"

"Dealings with royalty is ALWAYS 'so fucking complicated', my dear." Frank entered the room, in full drag.

Jane gasped. "Frank, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking," said Frank, angered, "that I should look more like myself if I would be seeing...Mister Delordy."

Delordy sighed. "Now you're going to go on about that, aren't you?"

Frank grinned. "Of course." He took a seat on top of a desk in the front row and lit himself a cigarette. Jane cringed.

"So..." he said, "what has my daughter done to deserve such a punishment?"

"Nothing..." said Delordy. "I just wanted to see for myself whatever happened to the great Doctor Furter."

"Well..." said Frank, "Now you see."

Delordy chuckled. "You look exactly the same as you did twenty years ago."

"Really?" asked Frank, flattered. "Because my method of de-aging has recently..."

"AGH!" shouted Jane. "Just get to the point! Why do you really want us here, Delordy?"

Delordy sighed. "Okay, fine, Miss Janet Peterson, if that IS your real name."

"It's Jane..." said Frank. "Jane...Furter," he said, smiling awkwardly at Jane, who smiled awkwardly back at him. This whole father-daughter thing between them still felt strange and would take years of getting used to.

"All right then, JANE," said Delordy, "if you must know...Transsexual is in trouble."

"What do you mean, trouble?" said Frank, not showing any emotion but concentrating on his cigarette.

"I mean..." said Delordy, "it's in chaos, that's what! We haven't had an official leader since you formally left to begin your 'studies' on Earth twenty years ago!"

"So..." said Frank, then blowing out a puff of smoke. "Who's been in charge?"

"A replacement queen, for now," said Delordy, "but she's terrible. Awful, even. We need someone of royal blood to lead again...someone like..."

"Me?" asked Frank.

Delordy scoffed. "Well, who else would I be talking about?"

"My son is going to rule," said Frank.

"He's had no training!" excalimed Delordy. "And what about you? Didn't you have your heart set on..."

"I can't go back," said Frank afer taking a long drag on his cigarette. "After all these years? It would be a disgrace."

"It would be more of a disgrace if you let all those people down," said Delordy.

Frank crossed his arms, thinking. "I say we give Dick a chance, and if he has...trouble...I will step in."

Delordy sighed. "Now, are you SURE about this Frank, I..."

"I am absolutely sure," said Frank, puffing a smoke cloud in Delordy's face, causing him to cough. With that, he hopped off the desk and headed for the door.

"Say goodbye to Mr. Delordy, Jane," said Frank, winking at Delordy, who now looked like he wanted to choke him.

Jane followed Frank outside and heard a loud gasp. It was Jimmy, staring at Frank, his eyes like saucers.

"Uh, are you, uh..." said Jimmy, pointing at Frank.

"Oh, erm, yes," said Frank, holding out his hand for Jimmy to shake, a wide grin on his face. "Frank Peterson."

Jane sighed. _Well, at least the hand-shaking thing caught on with him..._she thought.

As Frank began to strut down the hallway, Jane cringed and leaned over to Jimmy. "I promise I'll explain. It makes no sense to me, either." She then followed her father down the hallway, with Jimmy close behind.


	11. Lullaby

**Chapter Eleven: Lullaby**

_"If only he knew,"_, thought Charlotte, staring at herself in a mirror in the room Ivory had let her stay in. Her parents were in a room down the hallway, and Dick was right next door, much to the disgust of her father. The rooms were just as beautiful as the ballroom downstairs...and yet. Charlotte was so tempted to open the door to Dick's room, just to watch him sleep, if she couldn't touch him. This thought almost made Charlotte laugh...she didn't want to start stalking Dick. After all, he would have many other stalkers once he revealed to everyone that he was the heir to the throne.

She sighed, throwing herself onto the double bed. She took a hair brush out of her bag and began attempting to brush her untameable hair, which was a lost cause from the start. She needed to find something to keep her from thinking about him.

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Magenta laid provocatively on the bed, wearing only her garters and undergarments. "Riff...?" she asked. "Would you like to...celebrate?"

Riff-Raff turned to face the bed, gawking. "Oh, Magenta..." he mumbled, pulling out a whip from behind his back.

Magenta gasped, laughing. "You brought it! I thought we left it at..."

"No, no..." said Riff-Raff, climbing on top of the bed. "It would be a tragedy to leave something as...important...as this at the television studio. I was saving it for tonight..."

Magenta smiled, her blood red lips standing out against her pale skin. "Tonight _is_ a special night, my lovely."

Riff-Raff laughed, the whip in between his teeth. "Don't you know it."

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Charlotte looked at the hair brush, sighed in disgust and threw it across the room. It was no use.

She stood up again, gazing at herself in the mirror. She had decided to wear her dark nightgown tonight, the one that stopped mid-thigh and, she believed, the one that made her look the most...appealing. Charlotte didn't know what she was expecting, nothing special was going to happen that specific night. She sighed, crossing her arms.

Just then, the door creaked open. It was Dick, a strange look on his face.

"Dick..." whispered Charlotte.

"I tried to stay away from you..." said Dick, leaning in to Charlotte, kissing her for the first time. "But it was impossible."

As he pulled away, Charlotte blushed, a funny, pleasantly surprised smile on her face. She grabbed his shoulders, pulling him in for another kiss.

"I thought you'd never come around," said Charlotte.

Dick looked her over, grinning. "Looking like that? It would be impossible for me _not _to."

They both laughed, falling on the bed, ensnared in passion.


	12. Aliens!

I love this chapter. I really do. And Jimmy Thatcher reminds me of Anthony Michael Hall.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that Richard O'Brien does or any stuff I reference.

**Chapter Twelve: Aliens!**

The entire car ride home from the high school, neither Jimmy nor Jane said a word. Frank hummed to himself, making the silence even more apparant.

Finally, after what seemed like four hours, Frank pulled up to Jimmy's house.

"Goodbye, Jimmy," said Frank, grinning at the boy, who flinched. "I hope that Mr. Delordy does not punish you again."

"Oh...okay, M-Mister Peterson," said Jimmy.

"Call me Frank," said Frank.

"Uh...okay, Frank," said Jimmy, who then laughed awkwardly and glared at Jane, who's face was bright red.

Frank turned the car around and pulled into the driveway. "What a nice boy..." he said.

Before Frank could get out of the car, Jane grabbed his arm. "Dad...I mean, Frank..."

Frank smirked. "Did you just call me 'dad'?"

Jane groaned. "FRANK, you just made the Thatcher kid think I'm a total freak!"

Frank sighed, crossing his arms. "It seems I have that effect on people..."

"Dressed like that you do..." mumbled Jane.

"Well, if you must know..." said Frank, annoyed, "this is for a job interview."

Jane snorted. "For what?"

Frank sighed. "It doesn't matter what, it's a job! It happens to be the one thing I'm good at."

Jane opened the car door and climbed out. "I don't want to know." Frank drove away, looking adequately pissed.

Jane crashed through the front door of the house, making Columbia cry out in surprise.

"Janey?" she asked. "Is that you?"

Jane sighed, taking a seat at the kitchen table. Columbia was chopping vegetables and wearing an apron.

"How come you're..." said Jane, motioning to what Columbia was doing.

"Oh, this?" asked Columbia. "Frankie's got a job interview and I thought I would make dinner."

Jane sighed. _She really _would _do anything for him..._

"Where is he interviewing at?" asked Jane.

Columbia shrugged. "Who knows?"

"Well, he just almost sent Jimmy Thatcher into a coma..." said Jane. "Did you see what he was wearing?"

Columbia sighed and smiled wistfully. "Oh, yes...I certainly did."

Jane rolled her eyes, not wanting to watch Columbia drool over Frank any longer than she forcibly had to. She went into her room, closed the door, and flung herself onto her bed, sighing in the agony of teenage angst.

"What's happenin', hot stuff?"

Jane gasped, looking around for where the voice was coming from. Then something grabbed her ankle. She kicked in surprise, causing the voice to cry out "OW, okay FINE, Janet, jeez..."

Jane looked down to see Jimmy Thatcher peeking out from under her bed. It was then that she realized she was wearing a skirt.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" shrieked Jane, pointing to Jimmy's exposed head, that was now bleeding a little from where she kicked it.

Jimmy crawled out from under the bed with a groan. "I thought it'd be funny if I surprised you, and I remembered you going on about that movie _Sixteen Candles_ the other day..."

"That's no reason to sneak into my room and impersonate Long Duck Dong, Jimmy, especially when I have no clue you're there," said Jane, trying to catch her breath after Jimmy had scared her. "Besides, you haven't even SEEN half the movies I talk about..."

Jimmy grinned. "Well, we can watch it, then...but FIRST, you need to explain to me what the hell is wrong with your dad."

Jane sighed. "There's nothing WRONG with him...Jimmy, it's a long story."

Jimmy sat down next to Jane on the bed. "I've got time. And you've got answers. And I'm not leaving until I _get_ those answers, Janet."

"My name isn't Janet. It's Jane," said Jane, dreading Jimmy's reaction to almost everything she would tell him.

Jimmy nodded, then realized..."What? You've been lying about your name?"

Jane frowned. "I had to, Jimmy. We all had to."

Jimmy shook his head in disbelief. "What, are you, like, in the CIA or something? Or the mafia? Or maybe you're in the..."

Jane smiled. "No, no, I _wish_ that was the answer, but...you are _so_ not going to believe me."

Jimmy sighed. "Go on, shoot."

Jane closed her eyes, not wanting to watch Jimmy's reaction She said all of this in practically one breath. "My dad is the prince of a planet called Transsexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania, and that makes me half alien, I guess. My brother is there right now along with Frank's ex-servants, that killed Brad and Janet Majors...and they have a daughter even though they're brother and sister. Columbia, which is the lady who you think is my mom's REAL name, isn't my mom...my mom is Janet Majors, who's dead now. Oh, and you might know me as Jane Majors, because that's what I went by before I changed my name." Jane smiled, and opened her eyes, preparing for the worst.

Jimmy's eyes were huge, but not from disgust. From excitement. "Oh my god, is this all true? Do aliens really exist, then?"

Jane nodded. "Yeah, I guess that about sums it up."

"All my research is right, then!" said Jimmy, standing up. "Oh my god...and you're half alien?"

Jane shrugged. "I never knew until a couple months ago...there's practically no difference."

Jimmy, not believing her, grabbed Jane's arm and began examining it, poking it in random places with a rounded stick he pulled out of his pocket.

He poked the stick at Jane's elbow. "Ow, that hurts, stop it!" said Jane, slapping the stick away.

Jimmy grinned. "That's how you tell...I keep a vial of mercury disguised as a stick in my pocket just for moments like these!"

Jane laughed. "What, does this kind of thing happen to you all the time?"

Jimmy huffed. "You can tell if someone is an alien if you touch pure mercury to their elbow and it hurts. Come on, everybody knows that!"

Jane snorted. "Your geek is showing, Jimmy."

Jimmy's brow furrowed in confusion. "Wait...if you're dad is the prince of this planet...why aren't you guys there?"

"Well..." said Jane, "When Brad and Janet died, Frank's servants made up a fake will for my mom that said that she left me and Dick, my brother, to Frank. So we went to his house, which was in Denton, a whole bunch of stupid crap happened, including Frank trying to have sex with me. Because he's a sex fiend. And it all turned out that the servants were going to leave for Transsexual by force, so they said that if Frank didn't stay on Earth they'd kill Columbia...which made him stay, because, honestly, I think there's something going on between them. Dick wanted to rule Transsexual, so he left with the servants, even though they're the bastards that killed our parents...but Charlotte was nice enough, I guess."

"Charlotte?" asked Jimmy.

"The servants' daughter," said Jane. "Charlotte McKinley."

"You mean _that_ Charlotte McKinley?" asked Jimmy. "I always thought she was an alien...she never said anything to anybody...it was downright creepy."

Jane shook her head. "Charlotte's nice, don't say that about her. I don't understand why when people are shy other people are creeped out by it..."

Jimmy sighed. "So now you guys are here, in Denton, doing...what, exactly?"

Jane looked confused. "Honestly, I don't know. Doing what we have to to blend in, I guess, until something else happens."

Jimmy nodded. His face then lit up. "Can you guys communicate with people on your planet, from here?!"

"I don't know...maybe," said Jane. "Frank's a scientist...he should know. Maybe if you ask him...?"

Jimmy sighed, looking nervous. "Okay."

Jane grinned. "You looked like you thought he was gonna kill you at school today."

Jimmy groaned. "Well, what did you think when you first laid eyes on him?"

Jane remembered that she had thought he was hot. She tried to cancel that thought from her memory. "Do you wanna watch _Sixteen Candles_ or not, Jimmy?"

Jimmy nodded, then his eyes went unfocused with nerves. "Is this a date, then?"

Jane blushed, not knowing what to say. "Uh, yeah...I guess..."

Jimmy grinned, grabbing her hand. "Let's grab the movie then...babe."

Jane yanked her hand away. "Don't push it, James the Third."

**REVIEW, OR ELSE!**


	13. Hiding It

I love this chapter, and I know I say this every chapter...but I do. So there.

Richard O'Brien is watching you from the shadows, laughing at how he owns everything.

**Chapter Thirteen: Hiding It**

Charlotte opened her eyes, surprised to see that the sun was still not poking its head through her window. Then she realized that she was on Transsexual, where there was no sun, and sighed. That was one thing she would miss about Earth.

She laid on her back, stretching. An arm flung over her chest, and she flinched. She followed the arm with her eyes, and saw that the arm was Dick's.

Charlotte gasped. _He can't be here..._ she thought. She sat up, and realized that she had no clothes on. She shot out of the bed, throwing on an oversized tee-shirt that had been in one of her bags.

There was a knock at the door. "Charlotte? Are you awake?" Charlotte jumped nearly three feet into the air.

"Uhm...yes, mother, just give me a minute..." said Charlotte, wondering what to do with Dick. The door opened, giving Charlotte just enough time to throw the blanket over him and sit on top of his body.

Magenta looked at Charlotte's facial expression, knowing something was up. "How did you sleep?"

Charlotte smiled, trying to cover it up. "I slept well. It will take some time to get used to eternal night."

"Yes, well, it took your father and I time to get used to daylight," said Magenta, sitting down on the bed. Dick cried out, she had sat on his arm.

"What was that?" asked Magenta, looking confused.

"Nothing...nothing at all..." Charlotte kicked Dick, who yelped in pain again. She winced.

Magenta sighed. "I think I'm going to have to look under that blanket, Charlotte."

"No, no, you can't!" shouted Charlotte.

Magenta raised her eyebrows and smiled. "With that reaction, I suppose I'll _have_ to." She lifted up the blanket.

"Charlotte!" she gasped.

"I am so, SO sorry, mother, I just couldn't help myself..." said Charlotte, feeling like she wanted to die.

Surprisingly, Magenta hugged her daughter, a proud grin on her face. "There is no reason to be sorry, darling. You gave yourself over to absolute pleasure...that is Transylvania's motto."

Charlotte sighed in relief. "Oh, thank you for understanding. Even if that is Dick under there."

Magenta gasped, pulling away. "That's Dick?! _Furter's son_?!"

Charlotte suddenly felt like melting into a puddle again. "Um...no?"

Magenta threw the blanket off the bed, revealing Dick, who just happened to be naked. "What do you think you're doing with my daughter, you worthless sex- fiend?!"

Dick was dazed from just waking up. "Wha?"

Magenta threw Dick off the bed in a fit of rage, kicked him in the groin, and shoved him out the door, leaving him quite disoriented.

She cried out in anger, and sat down on the bed, her head in her hands. "Charlotte, why did you let him?"

Charlotte looked confused. "You just said that..."

"No!" shouted Magenta. "Anyone but him!"

Charlotte's eyes filled with tears. "He didn't force me. I wanted it, he wanted it, we have_ been_ wanting it."

Magenta just looked at her daughter, not saying anything, the tears spilling down her porcelain cheeks.

"Mama..." said Charlotte, saying the name she had hardly used anymore. "I think...I think I love him."

Magenta just looked at the floor, saying nothing.

"Will you say nothing? Don't you think this grudge has gone too far?" said Charlotte.

"I just wanted to protect you," said Magenta.

"_Protect me?!_" said Charlotte. "From what? Being the son of a sex-addict does not automatically _make_ you a sex-addict. Why do you suppose that he forced me?"

"Because Frank did," said Magenta, quietly.

Charlotte's eyes filled with tears, the painful memories coming back to her. She had been only eleven at the time, and quite unprepared.

"Mother..." she said, looking at the floor and wringing her hands. "I'm sorry."

She sat next to her mother on the bed, choked and broken down by her tears. Magenta put her arm around her, holding her as she did when she was small child.

"Oh, Charlotte..." said Magenta, rubbing her back.

"I really love him, mama..." said Charlotte, in between sobs. "I've never felt this way about anyone before him."

"I see the way he looks at you..." said Magenta.

"...and you can tell he cares, right?" asked Charlotte. "Whenever I'm near him I feel like I'm either going to throw up or...or explode into a thousand butterflies." She blushed after she said this, realizing how ridiculous she had sounded.

Magenta smiled. "That's how I feel near your father."

Charlotte nodded, and then gasped. "You can't tell father, he'll flip!"

"I would never tell him," said Magenta. "I know how much that would hurt you."

"Then what should I do?" asked Charlotte, the tears still flowing. "Should I try to ignore Dick completely, pretend last night never happened? Oh, mother, I just can't!"

"That never worked for Riff and I..." said Magenta, frowning.

"I just need to hide it from father, then," said Charlotte. "Like you two hid it from Frank."

Magenta smirked. "You know how that ended...when you came along, it was obvious."

Charlotte gasped. "Oh god...should I have been on the pill?"

Magenta sighed, pulling a bottle of pills from her pocket. "Take these, and you'll be fine. I had a feeling I would find you like this, so I brought them with me."

Charlotte sighed in relief and took the pills. "Oh, thank you mother...there's pills for everything these days."

"That was the purpose of Dentonvale..." said Magenta, reminiscing."I don't understand how it could be almost eight years now since we left."

Charlotte sighed, leaning into her mother. "What do you think they're doing now...Columbia, Frank, and Jane?"

Magenta sighed. "How should I know? Columbia is most likely making a fool of herself over Furter."

Charlotte giggled. "That's guaranteed." Then she frowned. "I feel terrible that we did such a horrible thing to them. Dick didn't seem to care much...but Jane..."

"It helped get us here, and that's all that matters. Even if we had to kill a few people on the way." Magenta then stood up, walking towards the door.

Before leaving, Magenta turned to face Charlotte. "Just be sure that Riff-Raff does not find this out, you know how it would anger him."

With that, she closed the door, leaving Charlotte to question if being on her home planet was worth destroying lives over. She had begun to think that maybe her parents did not have the good judgement that she had always thought they did.

**REVIEW, DAHLINGS!**


	14. Shriekings and Strip Clubs

Disclaimer: I do not own Sixteen Candles or The Rocky Horror Picture Show, all rights belong to John Hughes and Richard O'Brien. Oh, and the character of Pat has nothing to do with Patricia Quinn. I just felt the name was fitting for the character.

**Chapter 14: Shriekings and Strip Clubs**

Frank parked the car in the lot behind the Absolute Pleasure club. The neon signs blinked _"Absolute Pleasure...the REAL Home of Happiness!...all guys, all the time!" _He sighed. It seemed that this was what it had come to.

Frank stepped out of the car, slamming the door. There were two other men standing outside the door, looking as if they were waiting to be let inside.

"So..." said Frank, leaning against a metal pole holding up the torn awning over the door. The two men were gawking at him. "Are you two here for a job inquiry?"

"Do...um, do you work here?!" asked one man, who was blushing furiously.

"No, not _yet_, that is," said Frank, grinning.

"Wow, you...um...you really..." said the other man, who was also blushing.

Frank chuckled. "I take that bulge in your pants as a compliment."

The man's eyes went wide just as the door opened, revealing a woman who looked to be in her fifties. Her hair was platinum, a very bad dye job. She had on enough makeup for three women, and her breasts were just about to fall out of her leopard-print blouse.

"Well..." she rasped, sounding as if she had smoked for years, "whadda we got here?"

"We're here, um..." said one of the men.

"For the job, sweetheart, I know," said the woman, grinning. "I'm Patty, and I'll be your employer at this fine establishment."

Frank smiled, and Patty went wild.

"Oooh!" she squealed. "And who are you, sweetie?"

"Frank," he said. "I am also here for the job."

"Well, you got it, honey, no interview needed!" shouted the lady, who then laughed, resulting in a bout of coughs. "Come on in."

They entered the club, which seemed partly dilapidated, though Frank didn't mind. All he cared about was that there was a stage, and he was delighted to see that it was quite a large one.

"Well, here is the main area, where all the action happens!" said Patty. "Over here's the bar, there's Paulie! Hey Paulie! Come 'ere!"

The bartender, named Paulie, approached the three interviewees, a wide grin on his face.

"Well, well, well!" he said in a thick Brooklyn accent. "Looks like we got instant employment today, Pat!"

They laughed and high fived. When the three newcomers stared at them, Patty just smiled.

"We're trying to get as many guys as we can..." said Patty. "Everyone's too straight in this town, too much like...like..."

"Like _Leave It To Beaver_," said Paulie.

"Yeah, yeah, like that," said Patty. "So we gotta have _somethin_' around here to provide some action!"

"So, uh, I bartend," said Paulie. "And you provide, got it?"

The three men nodded. Patty grinned. "Good! Now we gotta see how you look in drag, kitties...though, uh, Frank's come prepared."

Paulie turned to Frank, his eyes wide and his jaw halfway to the floor. "Are you sent from heaven?"

Frank sighed. "Someplace like it."

They followed Patty to the single, large dressing room backstage. It was filled with corsets, boas, makeup, garters, wigs, glitter, anything you would usually expect at a male strip bar.

"You guys have fun, all right?" asked Patty. "Paulie and I are gonna set up the stage for auditions." She left, coughing down the hallway as she went.

Frank leaned against the wall as he watched the two other men make themselves up. He sighed, wondering what he was doing in such a dingy place as this.

"Hey, Frank..." said one of the men, who had just put on a blonde wig. "I'm Vince."

"And I'm Harold," said the other man. "Hey, listen, uh, even if that's _your_ type of drag, why are you still looking so..."

"What?" asked Frank, examining his fingernails, not really caring what these two nimrods were saying.

"Masculine, that's the word," said Vince. "Drag means you're supposed to look like a woman."

Frank just smirked. "I've been doing this much longer than you have."

Harold rolled his eyes as he applied hot-pink lipstick to his lips. "You couldn't be more than thirty. What do you mean by that?"

Frank glared. "It is much more appealing to dress like pure sex than to dress like a revolting prostitute, that's what."

Harold gasped, dropping his lipstick to the ground. "Vince, did you hear what he just said to me?"

"Yes, I did, Harold," said Vince, menacingly holding up a 4-inch stiletto. "And I think Frankie here should know what's going to happen if he tries that again..." he shoved the stiletto closer to Frank's face. "With either of us."

Frank chuckled, turning out of the dressing room. Vince just looked at Harold, who shrugged.

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_"I can't believe it..." _said a teenaged Molly Ringwald. _"They fucking forgot my birthday."_

As the opening credits began to roll, Columbia entered the room.

"I made popcorn!" she shouted, her shrill voice even louder than the television.

"Thanks, Columbia!" said Jimmy, taking a mouthfull of popcorn.

Columbia looked taken aback, and then laughed it off. "Sweetie, you know my name is Colleen."

"No, I told him," said Jane, casually.

Columbia gasped, shaking her head, not knowing whether to cry or laugh.

"You...you..." she stuttered. "Pause the movie," she said sternly.

Jane sighed, pausing the movie and leaving the room. Jimmy looked at the bowl of popcorn, giving it a dominating look before he dug in.

Columbia grabbed Jane's arm, dragging her out to the hallway, slamming the door behind them.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU TELL HIM?!" she shrieked, loud enough for Jimmy to hear.

"Columbia..." said Jane. "He saw Frank. I had to."

Columbia's eyes filled with tears. "But now...but now..." she gasped. "He's gonna tell his parents! Oh no, oh no, oh my god, he..."

"STOP!" shouted Jane. "Don't flip out, everything's gonna be fine!"

Columbia's eyes were furious. "DON'T YOU SHOUT AT YOUR MOTHER!"

"YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!" shouted Jane.

Columbia took a step back, then started to shriek with sobs, running to the other side of the house.

Jane sighed, beginning to believe that Columbia was mentally unstable.

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Frank walked out onto the stage, exuding confidence from every pore.

"Hi again," said Patty, who was now smoking two cigarettes at once. "Whatcha gonna do for us today, honey?"

Frank opened his mouth to speak, and then stopped. He realized that he had no idea what went on at these type of strip bars.

"Erm, well..." he said, trying not to look nervous. "I'm new to this country, I'm from..."

"England?" asked Paulie, not looking up from his clipboard. "It's obvious."

Frank looked confused. "Erm, yes. Eng...land," he said. "Anyway, I'm not sure exactly what you wish for me to do."

"Can you sing?" asked Patty.

"Yes," said Frank, sighing in relief.

"Well...sing!" said Patty.

Frank smiled. He knew just the song.

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Jane plopped down on the couch next to Jimmy.

"She sounds crazy, Jane," said Jimmy. "Are all aliens like that?"

Jane sighed, feeling sorry that she had yelled at Columbia. "She's not an alien. She was brainwashed years ago...she's from Denton, just like us."

Jimmy's eyes went wide, and then he shrugged. "You know what? Let's just watch the movie."

Meanwhile, Columbia was in the kitchen, mumbling angrily to herself as she chopped up beef and threw it into a pot of stew, stirring furiously.

"Who the hell does she think she is?!" she mumbled, not noticing that most of the stew was splashing out of the pot.

Columbia sighed, stopped stirring, and began to cry again. The truth was she enjoyed playing happy family. She enjoyed the illusion of the perfect life, when the truth was that Jane hardly knew her and Frank...he hardly loved her.

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As Frank ended his song, he looked up and saw that both Patty and Paulie had tears in their eyes.

"Oh, god..." said Paulie. "You make me wanna go home, too!"

"'Blue skies through the tears...'" mumbled Patty in astonishment. "Did you write this yourself?"

"Yes," said Frank, proudly. It was one of the few things he could honestly say he accomplished himself.

Patty grinnned. "Well, you got the job. Can you start this Friday?"

Paulie wiped a tear away from his face. "The place opens at 7:30 sharp, but we'd like you to be here by 4 o'clock PM...for rehearsal, that is."

Frank nodded. "What's the pay?"

"Whatever people throw atcha, honey!" said Patty. "And I think you're gonna get lots."

"Plus there's a flat fee of fifteen dollars per hour," said Paulie.

Frank sighed. It wasn't much, but it was something. "I'll take it."

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Columbia set the table for dinner, not caring that her mascara was running down her face or that her apron was covered in chicken broth from her violent stirring. She wiped her nose and sat down in a chair as the front door opened. She grabbed a napkin and wiped her face, not wanting Frank to see her in her condition.

Frank strutted into the kitchen, a smug smile on his face. "I'm employed."

Columbia tried to smile, her eyes red. "Oh, Frankie, that's great!" She blew her nose into the napkin.

Frank's face fell. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing..." said Columbia, standing up, furiously ladling stew into the bowls. "Nothing at all."

Frank raised his left brow and grabbed Columbia's arm. "Don't try to pull that on me. Something has happened."

Columbia sighed, turning to face Frank. "You don't love me."

Frank looked confused. "...What?"

Columbia's eyes filled with tears, turning back to her stew. "I didn't say anything."

"No, no..." said Frank. "What was this about me...not..."

"You never have and you never will!" shouted Columbia. "And I need to learn that! Desperately, before it kills me!" She burst into tears, falling into Frank's arms.

Frank didn't know what to say. How was he to know if he loved her? He'd shagged her hundreds of times...did that mean love?

All he knew is that something felt right when Columbia was in his arms, crying as always.

Just then, Jane and Jimmy walked into the room. Jane took a step back, trying to pull Jimmy back into the hallway. It was too late.

"YOU!" shrieked Columbia, pulling away from Frank and pointing to Jane. "YOU TELL HIM WHAT YOU DID!"

"Jimmy, I think you should go home now..." mumbled Jane, blushing. Jimmy didn't listen, as he began poking Frank with his mercury stick.

Frank gasped as the stick touched his elbow. "The boy knows!"

Jimmy grinned up at Frank. "Yeah, isn't it great?"

Frank covered his face with his hand, sitting down in a chair, not entirely sure what to say. Columbia knew exactly what to say.

"NO, it's NOT GREAT!" she shouted. "And if you tell your parents...or, or ANYONE...we are going to hunt you down and...and we'll EAT YOU!"

Jimmy's eyes went wide. He backed away from the scene before running for the door, not looking back.

It was silent for a few moments. Then, Frank began to laugh.

"Now, why the hell are you laughing?" asked Columbia.

"You told him we'd eat him," said Frank, chuckling. "He doesn't have nearly enough meat on his bones."

Both Frank and Columbia began to laugh. Jane looked as if she might be sick.

"I'm not hungry..." mumbled Jane, and she left the room, wishing that she was among sane persons for once.

**REVIEW, OR THEY'LL EAT YOU, TOO!**


	15. Piano Lesson

Hey all…this may be it for a while

Hey all…this may be it for a while. The updates are going to get more few and far between, only because school's back which means my life's back. So, I'll try to write, but I may be insanely busy for a while. Oh, and as I'm posting this, a hurricane that may be bigger than Katrina is about to hit New Orleans, Louisiana, so say a prayer for those poor people, and hope that Bush and Fema actually do more to help them this time.

Disclaimer: Richard O'Brien owns Rocky Horror, so STOP THE REMAKE, mmkay?

And I don't own the song "My Old Man" by Joni Mitchell…I've just listened to it over 80 times on my iPod. :P

**Chapter Fifteen: Piano Lesson**

Charlotte had been standing at the foot of the stairs for almost five minutes now. She had tried to delay going downstairs as much as she could, by getting dressed, applying makeup, and doing all the other things that are usually done to prepare for the day as slowly as possible. After last night, she didn't think she could possibly look her father in the eyes again.

Finally, she took a deep breath, and took her first step. She saw Dick at the foot of the stairs. Startled, she fell, crashing into him.

"Are you okay?" asked Dick, laughing.

Charlotte blushed, embarrassed of the night before. "Yes, sorry for bumping into you..."

Dick grinned. "It's not the first time."

Charlotte sighed and shook her head, pulling Dick into a nearby closet, shutting the door silently. "We can't let anyone know about what happened."

Dick huffed. "Well, why not? Your parents are hypocrites if they say we can't love."

Charlotte frowned. "It's my father. He'll kill you, Dick. If he finds out...who knows what will happen! And Frank, he'll..."

Dick placed a single finger on Charlotte's lips. "Am I going to have to start calling you Maria?"

Charlotte laughed. "Oh, Tony..." she said in a quite convincing Spanish accent.

"Juliet is more like it..." said Dick, grabbing Charlotte's hand, feeling the sparks.

"Romeo, Romeo..." murmured Charlotte, kissing Dick, letting him explore her body with his far more experienced hands.

The sound of a gong followed by laughter could be heard from the kitchen.

Charlotte sighed. "Oh god, she brought it."

Dick smirked. "What?"

"The gong," said Charlotte, smiling as Dick began to look confused. "It's a long story. I think it's time for breakfast."

After first checking if the coast was clear, Charlotte and Dick exited the closet, taking separate paths to the dining room. They had to disprove all rumors before they began to circulate.

They entered the dining room, where Magenta, Riff-Raff, and Ivory were already seated.

Magenta grinned. "You must have heard the gong."

"I cannot believe that you brought that thing," said Charlotte, causing Magenta to laugh.

"I cannot believe you thought she wouldn't bring it," mumbled Riff-Raff. Magenta smiled at him, putting her hand on top of his.

"Well, well," said Ivory. "I'm sure Nancy will be here soon. I hope you like waffles!"

"Everyone likes waffles!" murmured Dick with mock excitement, just loud enough for Charlotte, who laughed, to hear.

"What was that?" asked Magenta, turning to her daughter and giving her a look that said _"Remember that your father is here."_

"Nothing...nothing at all," said Charlotte, grinning at Dick, who wiggled his eyebrows at her, causing her to laugh again.

"Teenagers..." said Ivory. "Always laughing about something. I remember you two were just the same at the breakfast table..."

Riff-Raff turned to Magenta, a concerned look on his face. Magenta worried just how long it would take for him to realize...

Nancy entered the room, dark circles under her eyes. She practically dropped the serving platter on the table.

"There." she grumbled. "Do it yourself!"

She left the room in a huff, causing Ivory to laugh.

"Good old Nancy..." he said. "She always knows how to make a joke!"

Charlotte smirked and shared a knowing look with her parents.

The five dug in. Ivory had the annoying habit of talking with his mouth full.

"So..." he said, practically inaudible with syrup dripping down his chin. "Just who are you?" He pointed to Dick with his sticky fork.

Before Dick said anything, Magenta interrupted him.

"He is Prince Furter's son," she said.

Ivory dropped his fork, the syrup still all over his face. "My goodness, is it true? I thought so, what with the corset and..."

"His daughter is still on Earth," said Magenta. "There was a terrible lab accident..."

Ivory grimaced. "Oh, dear. Is that why Furter is not gracing us with his presence?"

"He is dead," said Riff-Raff, a satisfied finality in his voice.

Charlotte believed that her parents were the best liars that had ever lived, which she was not necessarily proud of.

Ivory frowned. "Oh." He wiped his chin with the cloth napkin that was on his lap. "Well, that's not a cheery subject."

"I'm going to take the throne," said Dick.

Ivory grinned at him. "My boy, that's wonderful! Our interim ruler is terrible...awful, even!"

"We will go to the royal hall today," said Riff-Raff.

Magenta turned to him, surprised. "Today?" she asked.

"Today," said Riff-Raff, glaring at her.

Magenta just sighed, crossing her arms, irked that Riff-Raff was in a sour mood.

"Well, that's very good," said Ivory. "The faster we get a Furter to the throne, the better, at this point."

Charlotte nearly jumped out of her chair when Dick softly brushed his foot against her leg. She blushed, giving him a look, though she didn't particularly want him to stop.

Despite longing to be close to Dick, she stood up, smoothing down her skirt. "Well, I'm not very hungry. Thank you for the breakfast...I heard you own a piano?"

Ivory grinned widely. "You play?"

Charlotte smiled. She had taken piano lessons since age seven, when she had begged her parents for them, still at the television studio at that time. "Yes, may you please tell me where it is?"

"Over in the sitting room. I'm surprised that you didn't see it last night," said Ivory.

Charlotte blushed. "I had a lot on my mind. Thank you, I'll be off." With that, she left the room.

Ivory smiled at Riff-Raff and Magenta. "You must be very proud of her."

Magenta smiled, clutching Riff-Raff's hand. "Very," she said.

"Yes..." mumbled Riff-Raff coldly. "Very."

Magenta stared at Riff-Raff. Why was he acting like this?

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Charlotte sat down at the piano, feeling at her element. She hadn't played since a few months before, when the owner of the music store at the mall had kicked her out again for tampering with the merchandise. The castle didn't have a piano, and her parents couldn't afford to buy her one, so she took any chance she could to hone her skills.

Dick watched her from the doorway, entranced by her even still.

She laid her fingers on the ivory keys, playing a familiar number.

_"My old man, he's a singer in the park..."_ she sang, after playing a few chords, her voice high and lilting. _"He's a walker in the rain; he's a dancer in the dark..."_

_"We don't need no piece of paper from the city hall..." _Dick joined in, startling Charlotte.

She grinned. _"Keeping us tied and true, oh, my old man..."_

They sang together. _"Keeping away my blues."_

Dick smiled, trying as hard as it was humanly possible not to kiss her. "Has anyone ever told you that you're insanely talented?"

Charlotte blushed. "Well, not really...except my mother. Does that count?"

Dick laughed. "Yes, of course it does...you know, you could make a career out of this."

Charlotte snorted. "What, sounding like Joni Mitchell?"

Dick put his hand in her lap. "No, sounding _better_ than Joni Mitchell."

Charlotte scoffed. "If I painted, you'd think I was better than Van Gogh."

"Because you would be," said Dick, grinning even as Charlotte gave him a look.

"Oh yeah?" said Charlotte, laughing, grabbing his leg.

Dick cleared his throat. Charlotte had shivers going down her spine. Had they been found out?

"It's only me," said Magenta. Charlotte sighed in relief. Dick looked at her questioningly.

_"She knows,"_ mouthed Charlotte, causing Dick to tense up in grief.

Magenta closed the door behind her. "I knew you two would be in here together..." she smiled, sitting on top of the piano, staring at the two lovebirds on the bench.

"Y-you don't mind?" asked Dick, surprised.

Magenta sighed. "Not entirely. Although we _did_ have a close call at breakfast today." She glared at Charlotte.

"It was his fault," she grumbled.

Dick grinned. "Come on, you liked it!"

Charlotte smiled at him. "You're right...I did."

"Please, not now..." said Magenta, trying to quiet them. "Charlotte, your father and uncle are right outside this door, and you can bet at least one of them is listening."

"Is that one of them father?" asked Charlotte. Magenta rolled her eyes, causing Charlotte to laugh.

Magenta pointed to Dick and then the chair across the room. Dick sighed and moved like he was told.

"Play! Play!" whispered Magenta to Charlotte.

Charlotte began to play another song, something by Mozart. The door swung open, revealing Riff-Raff and Ivory, who was also soon awed by her skills.

"My goodness..." he said. "Have you ever considered enrolling her in an arts conservatory school?"

"It's never been an option," said Magenta. "They're awfully expensive, as you know." She smiled pleadingly at her wealthy brother.

Ivory sighed. "We will see. You know I cannot resist your requests, by darling sister," he said, causing Riff-Raff to bristle in jealous anger. Magenta noticed this.

"Riff-Raff…" she said. "May we have a word?"

Saying nothing, Riff-Raff followed Magenta out to the hallway, the fast-paced piano a fitting background for the impending argument.

"Riff-Raff, please…" started Magenta.

"I can't believe this! All the way to Transsexual, for this?!" shouted Riff-Raff, exasperated.

"Is this about Charlotte?" asked Magenta, knowing that in comforting her brother, she would have to lie to him. "Do you really have such doubt in her?"

"He's already making his move on you!" shouted Riff-Raff.

Magenta sighed. This had always been a subject of constant conflict between them.

"You know I would never accept Ivory's advances," she said.

Riff-Raff grunted in anger. "How is anything known for sure anymore? For all I know, Charlotte's already been fucking with that Furter boy."

"You don't know that, either. Stop accusing her!" shouted Magenta, angrily.

"Am I the only one noticing it?!" shouted Riff-Raff. "It's absolutely obvious what's going on here, and I'm not stopping until I can prove it at last!" He turned and walked down the hallway.

Riff turned around, the malignant anger still present in his eyes. "We will leave for the Royal Transsexual Hall at noon."

Magenta, who was leaning against the wall, slid to the floor in grief. The tension was building; she knew that soon all secrets were to be revealed.

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